What’s Wrong With Christians Dating Non-Christian?

What did the Bible say about Interfaith Marriage?

Why Shouldn’t Christians Date Non-Christians?

What’s Wrong With Christians Dating Non-Christian?

A friend of mine sent me a link to a brilliant article written by Cheryl with the title “WHY CAN’T CHRISTIANS DATE NON-CHRISTIANS?

In the article, she elaborates on several reasons why a Christian shouldn’t be dating a non-Christian. She used what is perhaps the pivot of her main arguments, a very well-known Bible verse that has often been quoted in relation to this particular subject.

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6:14

Whose Approval Do You Seek?

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
(Galatians 1:10, NIV)

We are created with the longing for acceptance and desire for approval. It is what drives us and propels us forward. Even before we were born, as a fetus, we moved and kicked to get our mother’s attention. Having witnessed multiple process of pregnancies as well as process of labour, I have grown to be fascinated by the process a young baby need to go through from birth to adulthood. It may not be obvious, but at each stage in life, we all strive for approval and acceptance. A young child may behave a certain way because they crave for attention from their parents. We never seemed to get enough of it.

“Repentance doesn’t yield forgiveness. Forgiveness yields repentance. We are forgiven.”
@suwandy

We Need a ‘Who’ more than a ‘What’

A woman pouring very expensive perfume on Jesus' head

 

“Why do you trouble the woman?”

I was reading my Bible and I find this incident hard to comprehend. Let’s take a look at it together. It’s in the book of Matthew, chapter 26.

10But when Jesus was aware of it, He said to them,“Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a good work for Me. 11For you have the poor with you always, butMe you do not have always. 12For in pouring this fragrant oil on My body, she did it for My burial. 

I find it interesting that, in response to a  legitimate and sensible comment by His disciples about selling a very expensive piece of fragrance and giving them to the poor, Jesus rebuked them.

Who Gets the Gift of You?

“There are different spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit gives them. There are different ways of serving, and yet the same Lord is served. There are different types of work to do, but the same God produces every gift in every person.” (1 Corinthians 12:4-6 GW)

Two of my respected mentors, coincidentally but I believe, also prophetically, gave me this verse which I believe says something about how much God wanted this truth to be hammered and pressed within me.

I also quoted one of them who asked the following line, “Who Gets the Gift of You?” That is so very powerful and so simple yet very true. Here’s what I believe it says. Some of you may want to challenge me linguistically and say that this isn’t a statement. It was rather a question. Yet the asker of this question crafted it in such a way that you realised there is more to this question. For many years now I have learned to appreciate the value of asking great questions. Good question yields good answer, which yields good information. On the other hand. Great question, yields great answer, which yields wisdom. The question “Who Gets The Gift of You?” Is no different. 

Here’s my take on it. We are all, a gift. Put it more precisely, we are an unopened gift waiting to be opened. We all have talents, spiritual gifts (pardon the pun), abilities, experience and knowledge we could use in various many ways unimaginable to be a gift to someone else. There is a problem though. Have you ever received a gift so disappointing you never actually used it? Or perhaps you kept it in the box, hoping to give it away at the next best opportunity? Perhaps you put it up on eBay or some online shopping website hoping to make money off it? If you answered yes to any or all of the above questions, then you know precisely what the problem is. 

There are such things as bad gifts and good gifts. There are wanted gifts and unwanted gifts. We will eventually be one. However, we can only be either one. Either we are wanted or unwanted. I am not trying to say that you shouldn’t be grateful for what you have received. A gift is still a gift after all. However, I do not wish to be a hypocrite either. Please allow me to go off-topic for a bit, I promise to come back to it soon.

Here is one very important lesson I learned about gratitude recently. It is a lesson so important I even think about it to sleep these days, It came from a TED talk that I posted in my previous blog post titled The Beginning of an End. In it, the speaker says “[tweet_quote hashtags=”gratitude” ]You do not have to be grateful FOR everything, but you do have to be grateful IN everything[/tweet_quote].” How deep the meaning of this statement, is something I could never express well enough with words. For example, no one can be grateful for the loss of loved ones, nor should they. But, they can be grateful within the process of grieving that they still have other loved ones who survived the deceased and that they will, more than ever, appreciate the value of life. As many would have concurred, “You only really value something after you have lost it.”

Now, let’s take this lesson on gratitude and apply it on how we look at a gift. There may be gifts that we may not be grateful for, yet we should still be grateful in the fact that we did receive the gift. Yet, if the gift itself is disappointing and not of value, then no one in their right mind should judge how you treat the gift. I came across that conclusion, and surmised that the best way we could honor God is that we show our gratitude for the specific talents and abilities that we have. And the best way to show gratitude requires more than words. It requires action and commitment. It requires our commitment to:

  1. want it
  2. seek it,
  3. discover it
  4. study it
  5. learn it
  6. understand it
  7. develop it
  8. grow it
  9. use it
  10. share it
  11. teach it
  12. expand it

The above are just the simple step-by-step suggestions on how to maximise your talents and abilities to honor God and show our gratitude for what He’s given us. Of course, we can still be a gift to someone before knowing about our gifts and abilities. Our smile, our money, our kind words, our listening ear, our shoulder to cry on, and perhaps our most precious asset, our time, all of it can be a gift to every single person we meet on a daily basis.

Ultimately, what we have been given should only be used to bless others and to further the Kingdom of God. Then you can begin letting others “get the gift of you.”

Is there somebody who has been a gift to you? If you can be a gift to someone, what about you are you going to give? Are you finding it difficult to be a gift to someone? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

I am Engaged

Yes, I am engaged!

This post is dedicated to my lovely fiancee and wonderful partner, Stefanie Tanuwidjaja for her support and her love that has helped me, to a great extent, to become the person that I am today. We got engaged just a little over two weeks ago, on Valentine’s Day.

 

The valentine card and the ring

The valentine card and the ring

Allow me to be a bit personal as I wanted to share my happiness with you, my faithful and kind readers. After all, a happy event is meant to be celebrated by many people. And so, I hope you will also celebrate with me. I believe this is the best opportunity to introduce my fiancee, Stefanie to you. Some of you may never have seen me before, so this is also great timing to put a face to the name.

Stefanie and Suwandy

 

I still remember vividly about what one of my mentor told me about two of the greatest decisions I will ever make in my life. The first is when I made a decision to give my life to Jesus and believing Him to be my Lord and my Saviour. The second is when I made a decision about the person who I am going to marry. Although we have been in a long distance relationship for almost our entire time together, I am truly grateful that our love only seem to grow. I have every reason to believe that I have made the right decision to marry her.

I am a firm believer in becoming a person who focus on growing and making the best out of my potential. As such, it has become my life’s passion to also help others to do the same thing with theirs. Deciding on who my life partner is, has become a similar exercise in that direction. You may ask, why go through that trouble? I hope it would not have surprised you by now that I am not the kind of person to make careless decisions. This is especially true as it has a lifelong impact for both me and my spouse.

Over the years, I have had many people asking me how I chose a life companion. Perhaps, though, they are really asking how they should choose theirs. It is understandable though. People are getting bombarded left and right with news of breakups, divorce, and heartbroken friends. With the increasing ubiquitousness of social media, such news are becoming as prevalent as ever. It is hardly surprising that people are always concerned with their potential life partner. They want guidance. They want some kind of assurance. They want some kind of certainty.

I am humbled at their questions. Having gone through two unsuccessful relationships, I am the last person I would go to for advice on such matters. I readily admit that I still have much to learn. It is my hope though, that I could give some insights to one of life’s greatest questions.

I am excited about writing this because it is one of the topics that I am most passionate about and also one that I talked about the most with my friends, married or single. If you are as excited about it as I am, I hope you will assist me. Is there any particular question that you want me to answer? What is your personal opinion about it? What lessons have you learned from your previous relationships, if any? Please leave your comments, as it would greatly enhance what I will write next.