I am Engaged

Yes, I am engaged!

This post is dedicated to my lovely fiancee and wonderful partner, Stefanie Tanuwidjaja for her support and her love that has helped me, to a great extent, to become the person that I am today. We got engaged just a little over two weeks ago, on Valentine’s Day.


The valentine card and the ring

The valentine card and the ring

Allow me to be a bit personal as I wanted to share my happiness with you, my faithful and kind readers. After all, a happy event is meant to be celebrated by many people. And so, I hope you will also celebrate with me. I believe this is the best opportunity to introduce my fiancee, Stefanie to you. Some of you may never have seen me before, so this is also great timing to put a face to the name.

Stefanie and Suwandy


I still remember vividly about what one of my mentor told me about two of the greatest decisions I will ever make in my life. The first is when I made a decision to give my life to Jesus and believing Him to be my Lord and my Saviour. The second is when I made a decision about the person who I am going to marry. Although we have been in a long distance relationship for almost our entire time together, I am truly grateful that our love only seem to grow. I have every reason to believe that I have made the right decision to marry her.

I am a firm believer in becoming a person who focus on growing and making the best out of my potential. As such, it has become my life’s passion to also help others to do the same thing with theirs. Deciding on who my life partner is, has become a similar exercise in that direction. You may ask, why go through that trouble? I hope it would not have surprised you by now that I am not the kind of person to make careless decisions. This is especially true as it has a lifelong impact for both me and my spouse.

Over the years, I have had many people asking me how I chose a life companion. Perhaps, though, they are really asking how they should choose theirs. It is understandable though. People are getting bombarded left and right with news of breakups, divorce, and heartbroken friends. With the increasing ubiquitousness of social media, such news are becoming as prevalent as ever. It is hardly surprising that people are always concerned with their potential life partner. They want guidance. They want some kind of assurance. They want some kind of certainty.

I am humbled at their questions. Having gone through two unsuccessful relationships, I am the last person I would go to for advice on such matters. I readily admit that I still have much to learn. It is my hope though, that I could give some insights to one of life’s greatest questions.

I am excited about writing this because it is one of the topics that I am most passionate about and also one that I talked about the most with my friends, married or single. If you are as excited about it as I am, I hope you will assist me. Is there any particular question that you want me to answer? What is your personal opinion about it? What lessons have you learned from your previous relationships, if any? Please leave your comments, as it would greatly enhance what I will write next.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Jack

    Congrats! So is she moving in to your city? How did you guys overcome the long distance relationship and come to the conclusion where to live?

    • Suwandy Tjin

      Hello Jack,
      apologies for taking a while to reply to your post. Thanks for the well wishes.

      With the ubiquitousness of smartphones and tablet devices around the world, we were able to continue communicating with each other via Facetime, using our iDevices. Due to a four-hour timezone differences, we were only able to “see” each other after I finish work late in the evening and just before she went to bed. Other times, we use WhatsApp app and Blackberry Messaging. We both trusted each other and we both know that we will eventually be together. This is why we never had any doubt about the future. Uncertainty is almost always the number one reason for failure in long-distance relationship.

      We did not always have it all smooth and easy though, as you correctly guessed. We were not able to agree on where to live for a long time. We fought, we argued, and we had high doubts of whether we should give up on our relationship. One day, however, a mutual mentor of ours said one thing that changed it. We had been talking mostly about “my needs”, “my dreams”, “my passion”, “my future”. “Perhaps you need to start talking about ‘us’, ‘our needs’, ‘our dreams’, ‘our passion’, ‘our future'”. We came upon a mutual decision not long after we began thinking about a mutual desire, rather than our individual desire. She agreed to move to my city.

      I hope that answers your questions.

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